just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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