My nipple is on Facebook.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
