I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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