there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize