i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
