I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
