so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
