she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
