If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
