I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
