If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
