I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
