how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
