well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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