You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
BRING THE BAGELS
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
