Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
