I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
