Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize