just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize