I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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