Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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