I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
