operation have a gay friend backfired
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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