Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize