did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
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You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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