I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
