i can't believe i had my finger in that
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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