he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
