That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
