quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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