I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
honey bunches of taint.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
