I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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