it's not cheating when I paid for it
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
