Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
he shaved USA in his pubs
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
