Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
