I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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