So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
