Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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