Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
