I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
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Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
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We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize