A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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