I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just took my morning after pill in the library
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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