Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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