I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm both gender and math confused
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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