He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
