They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
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If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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