ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
