I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
