somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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