words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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