Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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