hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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