Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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