Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
