So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Found the puke drawer
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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