She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Barsexuality is the new black.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
