so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
