Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
