Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
